Signs of Pregnancy .

“Congratulations! You are going to be a mother."

Don't you wish to listen these words in your life? Unfortunately, no doctor in the world can tell if you are pregnant by merely checking your pulse. But you might be able to recognise one of these five early signs of pregnancy.

A missed period
This might be one of the first signs of pregnancy you actually notice. If you have regular cycles you may be able to detect that you are pregnant when you miss your period. This is one of the most reliable signs of being pregnant.
Scientific basis: A period occurs when the body stops producing progesterone (a hormone that plays a special role in the female menstrual cycle and in pregnancy) temporarily. This causes the uterus to shed its lining. When you become pregnant your body starts producing a lot of progesterone to sustain the baby. There is no progesterone withdrawal and no period. Abdominal bloating and breast tenderness
If your periods are not very regular it might be a little tough to notice a missed period. Abdominal bloating is another sign to look out for. If you have been trying to get pregnant and your jeans suddenly feel snug check if you are exhibiting other signs of pregnancy.
Further, you might notice that your breasts have suddenly turned sore and sensitive.
Scientific basis: Both abdominal bloating and breast tenderness result from the high levels of hormones your body starts producing when you become pregnant.
Fatigue and sleepiness
You just woke up and had a cup of coffee. But you can't wait to go back to bed again. You feel tired all the time. Well, most pregnant women experience a high degree of fatigue and sleepiness in their first trimester.
Scientific basis: No one knows for sure why this happens. But experts believe that the high levels of progesterone in your body might be responsible for this feeling of exhaustion.

Nausea and vomiting
For some women nausea is one of the first symptoms of pregnancy. They start feeling unusually queasy and certain odours become very repulsive. Though the nausea and vomiting you experience in the first trimester of pregnancy is called morning sickness, it could occur at any time of the day. It is often triggered by meals. But if you do not have any nausea during the first trimester, do not panic. You might be one of the lucky few who escapes this ordeal entirely.

Scientific basis: Again, blame it on your hormones. Experts believe that high levels of human chorionic gonadotropin, a hormone vital for the sustenance of pregnancy, causes morning sickness.

Bleeding
Some women experience a small amount of vaginal bleeding when they become pregnant. When the fetus implants itself on the wall of the uterus this can happen. The bleeding is extremely light and might last a couple of days. In any case, if you spot vaginal bleeding, contact your obstetrician to rule out other causes.
The five signs detailed above are physical signs or symptoms. It is important to remember that some women might not experience many of the early symptoms of pregnancy, except for the missed period. You need not wait to experience all these symptoms before you take a pregnancy test. If you have been trying to conceive and you feel a couple of the above symptoms you could try taking a pregnancy test.
Over eagerness to get pregnant might make you take the tests too often leading to frequent disappointments if they turn out negative. It is natural to be curious but try and wait for a few signs before you turn to the test.

The pregnancy test
A home pregnancy test is one of the easier ways to test if you are pregnant. These kits are available over the counter at most medical stores. The directions are clear and easy to follow. The test takes two minutes and is pretty reliable too. All it requires is a drop of urine. If your test is positive it might be a good idea to repeat the test with your nearest lab and then schedule an appointment with your obstetrician.
If it is negative, remember that the test is not highly sensitive and might become positive only a week after the missed period. So if you have not had a missed period perform the test after you do.

Woman.
Aag Arrow Web Magazine.
April 2008.
http://www.aagneyam.com/arrow

The Concept of Arranged Marriages From Bride's Perspective.

The concept of arranged marriages has changed. And, not just for men. As a woman, ideally, your life partner should be someone with whom you can share interests and who will encourage your independence. As with any relationship, friendship is the key. Good communication from the beginning will help ensure that yours is a lasting, loving partnership.

Let's take a look at how to go about looking for these characteristics in the context of an arranged marriage.

Arranged marriages are not like they were. It is now more like meeting someone through your family or like being set up for a blind date. Parents or friends introduce the couple and let them talk via phone or email, meet a couple of times, and then ask for a decision. If the couple says No, it's a No. However, when parents are involved, there will inevitably be some pressure as they can't help but give their opinion and advice.
These days, couples often initiate the dialogue themselves, through matrimonial sites and end up being the ones introducing each other to their parents. Call it an 'arranged introduction', as the choice is solely left to the couple.
Another difference is that it is no longer only the guy who decides first. Girls have an equal prerogative to do so. Also, as women are now more career-oriented and financially independent, they are usually not in a hurry.


The first thing to keep in mind is to make a list (at least mentally) of attributes you would want in your life partner, so you can focus better on your search. Depending upon your preferences, some factors that might be taken into consideration are -- job, salary, educational qualifications, appearance, caste, horoscope, values, habits (drinking, smoking, etc.), location, family background, social standing, etc.


It's best to spell out any preferences beforehand, so your parents can search accordingly and the list can be narrowed down. This way, you will save your parents' time as well.


Deciding to marry someone is one of the most important decisions of your life. If you are confused, unsure or awkward, don't fret -- so is the other person. Just a few things you can keep in mind when you meet your could-be significant other:

Dos: Wear something that is both flattering and comfortable. Try meeting away from relatives. Choose a neutral venue like a coffee shop. Pretend that you are on a blind date and try to enjoy yourself.

Don'ts: Don't approach the meeting with the mindset that you have to marry this person. Don't think you'll be sure to hate him either.

Before, during, and after
Before meeting, try getting in touch with the person over the phone or through e-mail to prepare you, to some extent, for what to expect. During the meeting, keep an open mindset. Relax and just be yourself. Don't hesitate to discuss important issues. Afterwards, think calmly and give yourself time to assess. Although this meeting may not indicate if this is 'the' person you should marry, it can certainly tell you whether you want to get to know the person better and take a step forward.

If, at any time during the meeting, you realise it won't work, keep your cool, be polite, and try to keep it as short as possible. Trusting your gut feeling is the most important -- if you feel something is not right, it probably is not.


It's perfectly okay to ask any questions you have in mind. But remember, timing is the key. For example, it can be outright insulting and offensive if the very first question is 'How much do you earn, both net and gross?'

Sometimes, information is not offered voluntarily and one hesitates to ask. But, if the answer to a question is important in taking matters further, there is no harm in asking. Maybe the person you ask will feel offended. But, when you are taking such an important decision, you have to take that risk. Isn't it better that they feel bad now, rather than you feeling worse later?


Although researching the boy's background might seem painstaking, it is very important.

The difficulty of researching goes up a notch when the boy is abroad, especially if you don't have any friends/relatives to help you out there. This was the case with one girl, who married an NRI in the US only to discover, when she got there, that he had a live-in American girlfriend.

Thus, it would be wise to make discreet inquiries outside with the help of relatives and friends, with respect to his job, family background, age, education, habits, financial condition, medical history, lifestyle, etc.

You can get an employer verification to find out if he is working there or not. Definitely check the visa status. You may also ask for a proof of employment letter, request a medical test, etc. Try calling discreetly at an odd hour to see who picks up the phone at night. You can hire a detective to do a background check). If you have friends and family abroad, ask them to meet him and find out more.

Additionally, communicate regularly through email, phone, chat, etc. to get a better idea about the person.


These days, it is not uncommon at all to have had a previous relationship. It depends on many factors like the type of relationship, duration, feelings, etc. As long as it is a thing of the past and he is now committed to his marriage.

However, finding out about a potential partner's previous sexual history is next to impossible. Asking such personal questions will seem too embarrassing. Arranged marriages involve the whole family and private information coming out in the open could have severe repercussions, so some may not openly disclose this aspect.


Both partners getting a blood test is absolutely a must. If the boy's side feels offended, help by telling them that you are convinced about getting it done yourself too. Actually, it is difficult for the girl or the girl's side to ask this, but every person going through an arranged marriage would have the courage to insist on such tests. Isn't it better to be safe than sorry. A blood test should be made compulsory for couples before marriage.

Finally, there should be mutual consent and understanding from both sides; only then can a marriage be sustained. It is important that you like your prospective partner enough to marry him. Good arranged marriages occur when the parents support and help their children find life partners.
Ashmitha Chakrabarthy
This Article is Published in
Arrow Magazine December 2007 Issue.
http://www.aagneyam.com/arrow

Listen for Love

*There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
*We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
*We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
*Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.
*An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.
*Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
*A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
*A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'

*We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
*The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
*The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.
*If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
* It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present TO someone.
*So remember ... If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.
*Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.
* The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around.
*And yes, sometimes love leaves, as fast as it came, it disappears, perishes. Love needs care, nourishing and time. If love doesn’t get the care it needs, it vanishes, without leaving a trace. Same as like a flower....

This Article is Published in
Arrow Magazine October 2007 Issue.
http://www.aagneyam.com/arrow

Women Can Learn a Lot From Men.?

Do we women think that we know all the answers, believe that we have martyred ourselves by living with the male gender and that we are consummate communicators? There is a lot we can learn from men:

• To be natural, straight forward and wear less makeup. Men believe they are good enough and so should we! They don’t wear masks and they don’t wear crippling high heels! They speak their minds with an easy fit.
• Men don’t talk behind our backs. However, the female gender travel with a pack of girlfriends to whom they divulge intimate details of their relationship with a man. Do you know that men shudder at the thought of having no privacy? Girlfriends do not have to know everything! True they are good therapists, but not every situation requires a therapist.
• To do our own thing and not be so involved in everyone’s business. Men put their feet up on the coffee table, watch the game, do less housework and play more than female do. They don’t worry about everyone and everything.
• To accept a compliment. Men love compliments and even direct the conversation to get a few. Women have so much difficulty accepting a compliment without giving a qualification.
• To be patient with a relationship and to back off from a waffling man. Women tend to be impatient, embrace change more eagerly than men and when that doesn’t happen, they push men harder who already feel cornered. The best strategy is to back off, lower the intensity in our voice and give up our need to control.
• To communicate briefly and not to digress. Women get caught up in the words and the emotional impact of what they are saying. Women relate the story in a wordy symbolic style. On the other hand, men know how to say it in 25 words or less. After two minutes, a male listener knits his brow in a quizzical expression and hears only, “Blah, blah, blah."
• To clearly ask for what you need. Women expect men and their girlfriends to be mind readers. So they hint, use metaphors, tell parables and conclude with everything is fine – only this is farthest from the truth. Then we feel hurt when our friends don’t figure it out. However, men are literal creatures who ask for things directly and specifically. While women don’t have to do a presentation with charts and statistics, women can speak in more businesslike terms of problem and solution.

Ashmitha Chakrabarthy
This Article is Published in
Arrow Magazine November 2007 Issue.
www.aagneyam.com/arrow